


Coming Home

by rebelsfromstars



Series: Kanera Fluff [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Some feelings too, and a little angst, hmm so yeah another thing with jacen bc, i love this kid so much, maybe a little bit of humor, there are 4 chapters 2 of which are kanan lives scenario and 2 of which are more cannonish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-10 22:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16463663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelsfromstars/pseuds/rebelsfromstars
Summary: After a tiring day Hera always comes back home. Each time is a little bit different, though there’s some repetitiveness in them. Many things can change, but the constant thing is her son.





	1. Kanan Lives AU, Hera's POV

**Author's Note:**

> If somebody here reads this and follows me on Tumblr as well (reading my tags) than they know how much I love Jacen. So, here I am, writing about him again (even though this concentrates more on parenting, but you know). This time, not only with the real connection to Hera, but also to Kanan. The story contains 4 chapters. Two of them are Kanan Lives AU, two of them are more what I'm usually writing, so dealing with canon and Kanan not being there.
> 
> Hope you're gonna enjoy this, because I don't really know what is this <3

After twenty minutes into another hour of the Command meeting, Hera started to become restless. Honestly, she sometimes still surprised herself with how much she let herself to feel that, but she missed home. She wanted to go home. She was tired and nothing new or insightful was being said.

She tried to rush things a little bit, and she caught in the corner of her eye, Mon Mothma looking at her, and noticing her distress. She send her a quick smile, and Hera reciprocated. From the moment Mothma knew that she was pregnant, she was very understanding towards her, and Hera was grateful for that.

When the meeting ended exactly three minutes later, Hera promised herself to buy her a caf later in return.

Yawning, and rubbing at her eyes to stay awake, Hera hurried up to the _Ghost._ Maybe Jacen wasn’t asleep yet.

And surely, it only took her to enter the common room to be greeted with bright, teal eyes and squeals of happiness.

“Mommy!” Jacen yelled, and with a big smile on his face, run to her from Kanan’s lap. She kneeled down and opened up her arms for him, having a wide grin on her face.

Feeling him was such a relief. (That was why she never wanted kids during war. But she wouldn’t trade it for anything. Jacen was one of the most amazing things that happened in her life. )

“Hi, Jacey,” she whispered into his hair. He squeezed her tighter.

She glanced at Kanan, sitting on the couch. He was smiling down at them, and she literally never saw him so much glowing with joy, maybe beside some rare moments. She smiled at him. There were sparks of something beautiful on his face. The love, the affection, going deeper than Hera could ever anticipate. She and Kanan, they became so connected to each other, even more than before.

She withdrew to look at her son’s face.

“How you were spending your day with dad?” she asked, not being able to stop smiling, when she saw, when she felt, so many joy around her.

“We went down to the caves!” Jacen shouted, excited. Hera raised her eyebrow, amused.

“Wasn’t it cold down there?” she asked. Jacen nodded. She took him up to her arms and raised him, moving to sit next to Kanan. When Jacen was situated on her lap, she could concentrate more on his answer.

“It was, but daddy was with me, and dad is very warm so it was very fluffy!” he said. Hera laughed, heartily. Kriff, she loved that kid.

“Hey, are you saying I gained weight?” asked Kanan, obviously joking. Jacen giggled.

“Yes, you are! You had this big warm coat! More weight!” he said, and well his line of reasoning wasn’t technically wrong, but obviously it made both Hera and Kanan laugh their asses off.

Jacen didn’t seem to care much, he was happy that he saw his parents happy. After a moment, Hera realized he started to snuggle into her, like he was trying to crawl back into her stomach. She closed her arms around him and run her hand through his hair, affectionately.

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” she asked, not stopping the soothing movements of her hand. He actually, really, seemed to calm down at that. Or maybe he was just very tired after the whole day.

“I missed you, mom,” he mumbled. Hera wanted nothing more than to hug him close and comfort him. She found it very lucky that she could just do that.

“Me too, little love,” she said quietly, but to make sure he heard her, she leaned down, kissing the top of his head.

It took him moments from there to fall asleep.

Kanan scooted closer to them, and touched gently Jacen’s head.

“He’s asleep,” he whispered, smiling. Hera looked up at him, pretty sure how much affection was visible on her face.

“He’s so sweet,” she whispered back. She didn’t need to look up at Kanan to know that he leaned closer to her and Jacen. She recognized his warmth, she knew this and she longed for it, especially after such a tiring day. She leaned back onto his side, and he put his arm around them.

“That would be after me,” he joked. Hera snorted.

“Obviously,” she said teasingly. When she looked up at him, he was grinning and she couldn’t stop herself from enjoying this simple moment. She almost lost it all. But here he was with her, and she meant what she had said those few years ago. She was not about to let go of him.

She stretched her neck to kiss his cheek. He smiled at her so sweetly then, but she wouldn’t say it out loud to admit that their kid inherited yet another thing after him.

“How was your day?” he asked her. Hera sighed.

“Tiring. Nothing new, nothing special. Training gone as usual. It’s almost becoming monotonous.” she said. Kanan chuckled.

“That must be killing you,” he said. She glared at him.

“What? You can’t help an adventure when there’s one.” he said.

“As if you were different,” she teased him back.

They sat a little while in comfortable silence, before Hera spoke up.

“And how was yours day, truly?” Kanan smirked.

“Pretty good, actually. A few things to do around the base. Jacen helped me a lot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, but he kept on saying how he wants to go to the ships,” he said. Hera chuckled. “That he has after you,” he said. Hera smiled, and almost automatically leaned her head on Kanan’s shoulder.

“Tired, huh?” he asked, reaching out to her with a care, his hand caressing her cheek.

“Mhm. I believe, I'm not the only one.” she said, noticing his own weariness. She could also see through her eyelids Kanan’s gentle smile, but she had no energy to lift them up, more.

“He’s all cleaned up, we can put him to bed,” said Kanan. Now, these were the words Hera wanted to hear. She felt her heart growing twice as big. Force, how she loved that man.

“Love, you truly deserve a medal for parenting,” she said.

When they put Jacen to bed, and could finally rest themselves, there was still something Hera felt like she needed to say.

“Kanan?” she mumbled, hoping he wasn’t asleep yet.

“Mhm?”

“I love you,” she whispered, squeezing him tighter. He squeezed her back.

“I know, Hera. I love you too.” he said, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

More content, Hera was finally able to go to sleep.

Even after such a day, making her feel like there was no sense in what she was doing, she was glad when she was coming home. And when there were riskier days she was happy to come back even more.

There were things worth fighting for, waiting for her there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very sure about the ending, but it somehow felt right. Hope it works!


	2. The First One in Canon Compliant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the saddest one, I think. Jacen is younger here than in the another 'cannonish' chapter, hence also Hera grieving more in this one. Still, there's hope, like always.

Hera was done and tired beyond the point of understanding any information that were passed on to her. Her eyes were closing, legs giving up, she was hungry and really needed to go to the refresher.

But most of all she missed home. She missed Jacen.

And it was so late, he probably was already asleep.

She sighed, and skimmed through the crowd to seek for Mothma. She would understand, if she left now.

But it seemed  that their leader was tired as well, probably because she smiled at her and soon after ended the whole meeting.

Hera owed her one. But right now, she only cared about getting back home to her kid.

It was quiet on the _Ghost_ , and she found out why, when she entered the common room.

There was her little one, fast asleep by Zeb's side. He must have done it waiting for her, and Hera’s heart ached at the thought. Kriff, she really should be spending more time at home. It was not fair for Jacen to be left alone, without her so much.

Silently, she walked up right to them. She smiled at Zeb, who was quietly snoring. Delicately, as to not wake them up, she leaned down and took Jacen into her arms. He clinged to her immediately. She caressed the back of his head and put up her arms around him in more protective way. He was still so small. She dreaded the moment when he will become too big for her to carry. Sometimes, she was afraid that she would come back home after a long mission, and he would be ten times bigger, so she would barely recognize him. Or he her for that matter.

But there was not such thing happening, and Hera knew some of her fears were irrational and would never come true. It was still hard, sometimes.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice the box with Jacen’s stuff - that she specifically told Zeb to move somewhere out of the way - making far too much noise for her liking. She felt Jacen moving in her arms, and glanced at Zeb to see that he was awake, now.

“Oh, Hera,” he said, rubbing at his eyes. “He fell asleep waiting for you,” he said, gesturing at her arms. Hera smiled.

“And so did you,” she said. Zeb smirked.

“I’m just like a baby when it comes to it, you know that. I could sleep all day.” he said, stretching out his arms. Hera’s attention was back at Jacen, who seemed to be awake, as well.

“Mama?” he asked, sounding so sleepy and so _tiny_ that Hera’s heart started to melt.

“I’m here, love,” she said, in response, combing her hand through his hair, affectionately. He looked up at her, teal eyes shining, and there was this little smile that she adored so much. She couldn’t not smile back.

“I missed you, mom,” he said, and clinged to her more. Hera reciprocated, knowing that they both needed that.

“I know baby, I’m here now. I missed you too. Very much.” she said in response. Jacen seemed to bury his head even more into her.

“I’m going back to my bunk, Hera. Anything for tomorrow that I need to know?” asked Zeb, already on his feet. Automatically, Hera started to shake her head, but she stopped when she realized something.

“Yeah, change of plans. I’m staying home tomorrow. I’ll only go for training, if I'm gonna be needed. But I want to spend this day with Jacen.” she said. Zeb smiled at her like if he expected her to tell him exactly that.

“Sure thing boss,” he said, moving past her.

“And Zeb!” she shouted after him, and he turned his head to her. “I want to see this box nicely cleaned away at morning.” she said, with a teasing warning in her voice, indicating she wasn’t really mad. Zeb saluted her, smiling and he disappeared behind the doors.

Hera looked down at her son again. He wasn’t asleep again, yet, but he definitely seemed very happy, nestled into her. No wonder the youngling wanted to be so close to his mother. Hera sighed.

“Come on, little love, we’ll clean you up and go to sleep,” she said, leaning down and kissing the top of his head.

As she gone through the evening - right now midnight - rituals of showering and tooth brushing for both her and Jacen (who almost fell asleep there), she thought about how guilty she will feel about this tomorrow. She didn’t want to and there was a rational part of her that told her that no matter what, she could pull it all off. And somewhere deep inside she knew that she will. She just wanted to spare Jacen as much hurt as she could, while still staying true to herself. And sometimes it was exhausting. But seeing the effects it had, both on Rebellion and how much it grew, and on Jacen and how much he was growing up, it all was worth it. So, from time to time, she could take the whole day free, right?

It wasn’t even a question anymore, all doubts fleeting from her, when she looked at her son, fast asleep in her arms, as she laid down in her bunk. She had to make it up to him somehow, with how long he had stayed without her recently.

And if she would ever forget about that, it was enough to look into his eyes, the same humor and wisdom in them as in Kanan, and she would always remember. She would never make the same mistakes again. They were going on, no matter what, and she will never try to hide her love from him.

But seeing how happy of a kid he was, she thought that she must have done something right, for once in her life.

Grateful for that, feeling more love than she could imagine was possible, she fell asleep with Jacen by her side.


	3. Kanan Lives AU, Kanan's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the same story as in the first chapter, but through Kanan's eyes instead of Hera's. It might be similar, because it's fluff, but it's not the same situation. Especially that Jacen would be very little here, max 4 months, I guees.

In the past half-hour Jacen cried three times. Kanan literally was sitting down, only to be standing up a few seconds later. He was tired as hell.

Despite this, he couldn’t be more grateful, holding this little bundle of happiness in his arms. Sometimes, Hera complained that Kanan couldn’t be apart from their son so much that she didn’t get to hold him enough, especially with her busy schedule. Kanan used to say then, teasingly that she was carrying him inside her for the whole nine months, and now he had to catch up with Jacen.

The little one squirmed in his arms.

“Hey, hey, what’s happening, baby?” He asked softly, quietly, trying to shush him. He changed the position in which he was holding him

“Better there, buddy?” Unfortunately, Jacen only started to cry more.

“Okay easy, sweetheart, we’re going to the galley. It's time for your night snack apparently.” he said, as he was already on the move.

The milk from the bottle seemed to calm Jacen down. Kanan checked for any disturbances from his Force signature, but there weren't any, now.

“There we go,” he whispered, as he changed the position again, this time to the after-meal one.

He closed his eyes and immersed himself into the Force, trying to connect to Jacen. Calm him. Comfort him.

And to feel him was to feel incredible joy and have more hope than he thought was possible. Hera was already making his whole life brighter, but this little guy was making it even more beautiful, and it was amazing for Kanan to think that he was so lucky to experience this feeling.

It was right before midnight when Jacen fell asleep again. Kanan could recognize it after his breathing pattern against his shoulder. He still held him tight, making sure that their little one was at peace and resting.

That was when he sensed Hera coming into their cabin. He didn’t need to see her to know that she was tired and also a little irritated with something. He made himself a mental note to ask her about it later.

But she also seemed to radiate more happiness when she entered. Kanan smiled in her direction, knowing that she already had one on her face.

“Hey, love,” she said, quietly, and yawning at the end of the word. Her arms wrapped around him and Jacen, and he could tell by her movements that she was touching Jacen’s head with one hand, while keeping one around him. “How are my boys, today?” she asked, still keeping her voice low. She probably could see that Jacen was asleep.

Kanan couldn’t stop himself from grinning. This felt like a dream that he was afraid never would come true with the lives they were living. But here they were, all well and happy, more happy than they probably should, considering galaxy’s state right now.

“Wonderful now that you’re here,” he heard Hera snorting. She tightened her embrace,and put her head on his chest, right next to where he was holding Jacen. Carefully, so Jacen would still be safe in his arms, he moved his other arm to reciprocate Hera’s warm hug. She helped him, moving the hand she had on Jacen before, under his own arm to support him, just in case.

“If you’re gonna keep saying things like that with Jacen around, he’s gonna learn soon, and then I will have to deal with two charmers. I’m afraid that’s more than I can handle.” she said. Kanan smirked, and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

“Come on, you’re amazingly strong, you could resist us,” he said teasingly.

“Yeah with other people. But you and our son are a totally different case.” she mumbled. Kanan was still a little surprised when she was saying things like that. He just wasn’t used to her being so verbally open about her feelings.

But it was definitely something he wouldn’t complain about it.

He brought her a little closer to his side, and he could feel how she was relaxing under his touch, like she always did. That was an old case and never changed.

“Was Jacen okay, like usual?” she asked. He knew how worried she became, and her worries only doubled, since she learned she was pregnant. He was happy though that he could always be there to calm her down.

“He had troubles falling asleep. Or maybe I’m just sleep-deprived and think so. I don’t know, he was waking up somewhere between two hours each.” he said. Hera nodded.

“Could be better, but it’s normal,” she said, and he felt her moving to touch Jacen again. He lowered his arm so she could see him.

“He’s so peaceful now,” she whispered. Kanan smiled.

“Dads are the best pacifiers, it’s scientifically proven,” he joked, and Hera chuckled. Slowly, she took Jacen from him, and Kanan was really regretting, not being able to see her right there with their son in her arms. But her emotions were easy to read. She was probably smiling at him, with her own thoughtfulness and warmth directed at Jacen. He knew that her eyes were very expressive and so there would be a lot of that visible in them. Her moves would also be gentle and tender, caring for their little one, as she placed him in the crib.

He moved to her side and brought her close, embracing her from behind. She rested her hands on top of his, on her abdomen.

“He’s so wonderful,” she said. Kanan nodded, smiling.

“He is,” he confirmed, breathing in her scent. Being with Jacen was amazing - though very tiring sometimes - but he missed Hera. She had a lot of work throughout the recent week, the one she couldn’t do from the _Ghost_. He still was happy she could find a way to conciliate all of this and that most of people on the base were very understanding.

“I’m staying home tomorrow. Or today, actually.” Oh, finally. They could spend some more time together, even if it meant taking care of Jacen or having a simple dinner. He decided to make one for them, in that moment. She deserved something good to eat after so many ration bars and the food from the mess hall.

“Paperwork?” he asked. He felt her nodding her head.

“I’m happy to be with you and Jacen though,” she confessed. Kanan smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“Me too,”

They stayed like that for a moment, only holding each other, listening to each other’s breaths and refinding their centre after such a long day.

“I’m gonna take a quick shower, love, and I’ll be right back,” she said. He nodded, pecking her on the lips.

“I’ll keep the bed warm,” he whispered back, and feeling her smile against his lips, was making his heart jump, like it always did. No matter that she had done it hundreds of thousand times already. It was still a delight to feel her happiness so directly.

It wasn’t long before she was in his arms again. By some miracle Jacen was still sleeping then.

Hera was restless though, moving constantly, not able to find a good sleeping position.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, half-asleep already.

“I’m worried about him. Maybe we could bring him here?”

“If that would settle you than sure. Just please don’t wake him up. It took me forever to get him to sleep.” he mumbled.

He was a little worried about Hera’s constant state of worriedness to be frank. He supposed it was normal, because he also used to worry more than before. But sometimes he just wished the war was over already. It was starting to damage them too deep and Kanan was afraid that someday it might go beyond repairing.

On the other hand, if they were together than they could always help each other. It was Hera who helped him to really deal with his trauma after Order 66. If this war was making Hera develop anxiety than Kanan will help her with that too. There was not a thing that he wouldn’t do for her.

He had to admit though, when she came back to bed with their son, he did felt better. Having Jacen closer was making him more content, and he was sure it did the same to Hera.

Like that, with Jacen between them, and their hands linked across him, they finally fell asleep.

Until Jacen woke up an hour later.

Kanan was putting Jacen to sleep, with Hera’s help, and not without a tired sigh escaping his lips.

But he wouldn’t change it for the world. It was one of the best things that ever happened to him and he still couldn’t believe he was this lucky.

In the middle of total chaos, war, and destruction, they managed to be more than he ever thought. All he dreamed of.

And someday, after war was over, maybe they could expand their family even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, it feels good to write in Kanan's POV again. Hope you enjoyed this! <3


	4. The Second One in Canon Compliant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To summarize this chapter, that's the most 'me' in writing Hera and Jacen. I think so, at least.

Hera’s day was prolonging in her perception of time, making meetings dull and trainings monotonous. The only excitement throughout the day that she had, was when Jacen came by to visit her, with Kallus or Rex. She showed off especially before him, making more effective maneuvers. Seeing her son’s amazed face afterwards was the reward she never thought could feel this amazing.

He also sneaked into one of the meetings, and she had to explain to him that he couldn’t be there, and that she will be soon home. The farewell didn’t go without the long, goodbye hug. She didn’t care what others thought even when they shot her unsatisfied, mocking glares (like General Draven). Most of them didn’t even have kids, they didn’t know how it felt and what it was like. They might think whatever, because she was still doing a hell of a good job, while raising Jacen. And so what, he missed her, she missed him too. The only difference was that he couldn’t really control this, he was a kid. And thanks Force for that, let him be kid as long as he could. Hera was already grateful that war had so little effect on him till now.

Beside of course that he was half-orphan, basically from the moment he was growing inside her, and that one thing war took from them, will always remind them of itself. She was still grateful that he saw so little of hurt, violence and misery.

When her day was finally, officially, over, she happily went into the direction of the _Ghost_.

If only Kanan could see her right now.

Not that long ago the thought would cause her pain. But right now the memory of him made her chuckle. Of course, it was still a tragedy that he never lived to see her like that, when she was so stressed and crashed with work a whole year or so before he died. But the thought of him actually seeing it, and the image it created in her head, of how astonished and happy he would be, was also somehow, very charming and funny to her.

Her thoughts went into a slightly different direction, when she entered the _Ghost’s_ galley, and she was greeted with a lot of green hair and little hands, wanting her to pick them up.

She grinned as she did so, spinning Jacen around. They both laughed, and Hera brought him close.

“How’s my little troublemaker?” she asked him, securing him on her one hip, while using her other hand to ruffle his hair. He made a funny face at her, the one that said that he liked what she did on one hand, but it tickled him on the other.

“I’ll show you something, mama, come on,” he said, and started gesturing at the table. Hera smirked seeing thousands of colorful markers and mini paints spread across it. One of Sabine’s gifts.

When she and Rex shared a simple dinner, and he said his goodbye to her (not without a giggle), Hera was already covered in various colors and shapes that Jacen drew on her. It was only one hand right there, but who knew what he had in mind.

“Stay still, mom, I have to finish this line,” he said, as he moved the marker to her face and started drawing what Hera felt was definitely not a line. Or maybe lines in Jacen’s mind were very curvy, than indeed it was a line.

Hera didn’t know how much time they’ve spend like that, but it didn’t matter much, when they both were having a blast of a fun, and also could spend some fun time together.

She didn't remember laughing _that_ hard for a long time, when Jacen showed her how she looked in the mirror. She started painting all over his face then too, it was only fair! And Jacen was so sweet, giggling and hiding from her brush when something tickled him.

Obviously, it was after they both were dirty and covered with paint that Jacen decided it was hugs time. He sat on her lap, nestling into her, making all of her flightsuit very colorful. Hera couldn’t even be mad. It was nothing, nothing compared to how much he missed her and she not only could, but wanted to make sure he knew, she missed him too, by hugging him as long as he wanted to.

She was so lucky to have him. After everything they went through, she was sometimes still surprised by how much happiness Jacen brought into her life. There were of course moments of worry, doubt, confusion, anxiety, fear, or simple tiredness. But all the happy moments were making up for it. All the time she could spend with her son.

Every single one of his smiles, every sparkle in his eyes, every sign of joy he had. And thankfully, he had a lot of them.

As long as there was more good than bad, or even as long as there was good at all, even if it would be Jacen’s happiness only, she would be happy too. She had him, she had her family, and she had her ship. There were a lot of things that she wished were different, and sometimes she was still very actively griefing, even when she was only able to admit to it before herself. But Jacen was the brightness in her life that she thought was impossible for her to have again. And she loved him so much.

That was why she totally didn’t mind spending so much time in the galley in the simple hug. She was grateful for it.

And whatever might come, whatever obstacles the life might throw at them, Hera knew that as long as they were together, they were able to overcome them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this little story, and thank you to everyone who read it and liked it! Getting to know what readers think is always a tresure for writers and I hope that you all felt only good (or bittersweet) things reading this. <3


End file.
